Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Iraq, Iran, They Sound Similar Enough

And even more so now if it's true that Iran is funneling people and money into Iraq in an effort to keep things destabilized. Recently it came out that a number of murders originially attributed to Sunnis were actually the work of Shiites, who were either members of the Iraqi security forces or impersonating them.

So what you ask? Well, earlier today in a teleconference Senator Tom Carper said that members of the Iraqi police were actually there on behalf of the Iranian government, working to help impose a strong Theocratic Shiite government. Hmmmmm. So that, and other ways they're trying to influence the new Iraq coupled with their nuclear desires, makes Iran an emerging threat. Carper wasn't trying hard to be shadowey with his thoughts, making a statement so definitive about Iran's gathering threat that when (no, not if) it comes time for a war with Iran you can assume he'll be an advocate.

Iran has long been one of the biggest supporters of terror (and was only about a 1,000 times more logical a place to go than Iraq) and their forray into southern Iraq would give their Shiite thinking regime an easy path into Sunni thinking Saudi Arabia. You know, our buddies, the Saudis. And you also know them bitches in Iran are crazy, so what would stop them from trying to help fulfill Osama's vision of a Muslim Empire in the middle east? Well probably not much, but I'll give you three guesses as to who will show up if they do.

Allow my imagination to go wild here for a moment now. Iran keeps acting up in Iraq, drawing US retaliation there. Iran starts lobbing missiles and bombs into Saudi Arabia, sending their country into turmoil and more or less beginning WW3. For shits and giggles, W's buddy Putin sides with Iran. Am I crazy for thining all of this can happen over the next few years? Maybe it's possible, or maybe I'm just drunk tonight.

But somehow, I get the feeling Senator Carper is prepared, and was preparing us for something a little bit along the lines of what I dreamed up. No one is surprised, I'm sure. And right now I'm wondering when Iran becomes the focus of our military.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Infante Part Two

Former Independent/Libertarian candidate for governor Frank Infante was back in court on Tuesday the 29th. You may remember that before Thanksgiving Infante promised the truth would set him free, and his wife would get the help she needs. And from what sources tell us, she does need help and the situation is bad. So in all seriousness, if you're the praying type then send some to Smyrna. But in the end Infante and his wife got matching PFA's from each other, and were warned that even thinking about each other could be big trouble. And, apparently because of something that happened last Tuesday (perhaps not so coincidentally his first day in court) he was then arrested for violating a PFA. Infante left the Family Court in handcuffs and was taken to state police headquarters in Camden.

Now as much as I like listening to the guy, there's no way I can say one way or another whether Infante is guilt free in this, and more than likely he does bear some of the blame. But that's for the courts to work out, and anything I'd say is speculation. Infante has made numerous mentions about demons his wife is fighting, but hasn't gone on the record with them. But if things are half as bad as what we hear then by all means lets hope his wife gets the help she needs, and if he has to put his political career (or whats left of it) on hold for even a couple of years, so be it. It may be salvageable.

Right now this whole thing is a circus. But usually those are fun, and right now the only clowns in this show have sad faces on. At least for myself, it's not so entertaining anymore.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Holding Your Booze For Ransom

In the news again is the debate about open containers in Delaware, and how a good chunk of money is held back from construction funding because Delaware's lawmakers don't see the big deal with letting passengers tip some back while riding down the dirt roads of ole Sussex. Because we already have laws against DUI, laws that are pretty limiting already, it should be enough to placate those fat cats and busy bodies in congress. But apparently not. In these times of financial distress, the chorus will sing louder about the need to pass that simple law so that Delaware can spend more money to build roads. They will be wrong, and it's imperrative that the legislature understands that.

Just because me and Billy Bob tip back a few Buds on our way to a party doesn't mean that Jimmy John is tipping one back too. And if we do get pulled over and Jimmy John has booze on his breath, his fat ass is already hoping his overalls sustain a trip to the big house. No need to go beyond that. Other states nearby (I'm look at you sissies in Maryland and Virginia) have overturned their open containers law. Hopefully Delaware doesn't follow suit. There's just absolutely no need for it, besides allowing some politician to grand stand and act like they're tough on crime and drunk drivers. And there are enough issues to use to grand stand already.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Holiday Deja Vu

Remember holidays of yore, when your dad or your uncle got drunk and by the end of dinner was making an ass out of himself? Well now it's your turn! Because when you're at your in-laws and the Spiderman balloon looks stupid no matter how big a hard on it gives Matt Lauer, your only hope is an alcohol induced mid-afternoon nap. It's okay, because you can just blame it on watching the Detroit Lions. They haven't been good in years, so it's totally believable. To help get you there, here's my advice:

Start the day by turning on your favorite AM radio morning show. Preferably a conservative show that Thanksgiving morning. Drink four shots in a row and follow it with a beer if the phone lines open up and the host wants you to share what you're thankful for. If the topic goes into a second hour, that's at least two more beers.

Drink once every time someone calls in to thank the troops overseas. I don't doubt the sincerity. I just don't like cliches.

Drink once if a wine snob brags about the bottle they've brought for dinner. And when dinner comes that night make sure you drink some of it right out of the bottle. Put that snob in their place.

Drink once for every pie put out.

Drink once everytime someone asks you to spread some baste on the turkey. If you're the one actually cooking the bird, drink for every hour you've got it in the oven.

Drink once if someone comments on the Humane Society and expresses concern for all the little birdies and the horrible way they're slaughtered. Then take that bottle of wine you're drinking out of and finish it. Then clobber that whiner over the head. They deserve it.

If you played football that morning have a beer or two. You deserve it.

If you called it the turkey bowl, you're lame.

If you bet on any of the Thanksgiving games, you should be ashamed. You're also entitled to drink once.

And the minute someone starts cracking jokes about the chemical in turkeys that makes everyone get sleepy (and you know what the hell I'm talking about even if I won't ever spell it) then start knocking 'em back and don't stop until you pass out. Chances are you've suffered enough already that day and need some relief. And you've been gift wrapped an excuse for the rest of the evening too.

Lastly, drink once because I'm so lame. Drinking games were cool when I was stumbling around Newark. Now that I'm done with college, maybe I should act my age.

Infante Interrupted

It's been kind of surprising that more people haven't paid much attention to the legal troubles surrounding former Independent candidate for governor, Frank Infante. Yeah yeah, so no one beyond the regular at Bull Dozer's voted for him last year. But he was damn fun to listen to, and if he weren't so damn honest and open he might actually have been a legitimate candidate.

Anyway, it seems as if he made little ole Sussex's favorite conservative mouthpiece his outlet of choice. (Or maybe we should trust the internet and find out for ourselves that there's life beyond the farm) First he went on Ron Letterman's show to say that he had evidence that would prove him innocent, and insinuated that his wife had lost her marbles and he was going to make sure she got them back together. But the next morning on Dan Gaffney's show he wouldn't come right out and say that he never beat up his wife. Odd, considering his otherwise outspoken nature.

Alas nothing happened at that Family Court hearing, as it got pushed back a week because of dueling restraining orders. I hate it when that happens!

I really hope things get all cleared up with him and that his political career can stay afloat. Not because I agree with everything he says or believes. But because he's just so damn fun to hear talk. If he had been a math teacher I'd have passed calculous. If he was a rabbi I'd become jewish. If he was from Cape May, well I guess I'd have to let him have Jersey all to his-self. I'll only go so far! But Fran Infante is one of the characters that makes politics fun in Delaware, there's no doubt about it.

Media Note: Check Out GQ This Month...

And not just because Jennifer Aniston is on the cover. Though if you're a straight male (and here in Sussex, we're well aware not everyone is) that short little denim skirt and bare top should be more than enough! But in the media column is a few pages dedicated to the scum that is Sinclair Broadcasting. Always good to read about the scummy media companies out there, and their efforts to spin commentary into news. It makes fools like Steve Doocy and Neil Cavuto (Mr. President, is all the Brad and Jennifer news the reason your numbes are down?) look both competent and impartial.

Rehoboth Life Guard Can't Save His Own Ass

To me he'll be the guy sitting in the chair with sunblock on his nose, making a bit more than minimum wage while living in his spacious ocean front home bought with gambling money. To you, he's Michael Scanlon, Tom DeLay's old boy who worked with Jack Abramoff to rip off Indian casinos. Either way looks like there may be a house for sale in Rehoboth soon. Bob Ney must be getting a bit worried out in Ohio. Jack Abramoff has teed it up one last time in Scotland me thinks. And if there's any justice, if the indictments he's already facing don't work then DeLay himself will be caught up in this too. And to be perfectly honest, ANYONE whether they have an (R) or a (D) next to their name should be put through the wringer. We already figured out that national politics mean shit for us unless we're bringing checks double our yearly salaries, but that doesn't mean I won't sit back and enjoy watching those pols get squeamish and get busted every chance I can.

Delaware is a small state...

and so while despite that we still can't find Artie, generally it's pretty hard not to see through things. Such as Carl Danberg's appointment to serve as Attorney General for a year. It's nice to throw us all off and say the political game isn't rigged up a bit by saying you don't want to be appointed as the AG, but rather use daddy's name to win it in 2006. But just make sure that the guy who does take over for a year doesn't sit there and say that everything that happened was precipated on how baby Biden felt. It cheapens the office a bit, and it's hard to take anyone serious when they say some unelected schlub who would be no one without his daddy's name is calling shots for them.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Media Note: Hello everyone from WBOC!

Just want to say thanks for checking in. Word from Artie is that we may have rankled some feathers a few posts down. Not that we care that much. But thanks for checking in. The note on this blog may have been the very first time anyone in management there cared about anything regarding an employee.

Michelle Rollins is no loser... and she's not going to become one now

So the state GOP's biggest hope for dethroning Tom Carper has decided not to run, huh? No surprise down here. Face it, Rollins married well, into money and politics, sits on a pretty darn good fortune, and had a lot of backing among her party's faithful. But none of it means she could have beaten Carper.

The junior Senator from Delaware is among the most popular politicians the first state has ever seen. Delaware has been voting solidly Democratic over the last few years, at least when it comes to the statewide elections. So while Rollins would have probably won the vote here in lovely Sussex, the Carper Machine would have rolled over her up north. Why spend the money and waste the time in an effort that'll prove to be fruitless about a year from now? It just isn't good business. Something that Ms. Rollins apparently knows a little about. Let Mike Protack crash and burn. Just as long as he doesn't crash in his real job.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Is This Still On?

Wow, just wanted to stop by here and dust off the place. Mop the floors. Vaccuum the living room. That sort of thing. Actually, I just wanted to do my Governor Minner impression and just disappear for a while. Like the rest of Delaware, I'm sure no one missed the either of us. Also, it got cold real fast down here in Sussex. Can someone turn the heat up? JJ Davis, I'm looking at you babe!

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Cinderella's Insurance Rates Go Up

Was cruising around Millsboro this weekend when a damn pumpkin popped along the side of the road, exploding and leaving seeds and goop all over my fender. I was none too pleased. Who do these rednecks think they are?!?! Lucky for me though, the state legislature is thumbing their nose at doing anything to keep Punkin Chunkin in southern Delaware after this year. Just a bunch of rednecks drinking beer all weekend is far less classy than being a run down golf course up north, and all those legislators from New Castle damn well want you to believe it. Besides, if you keep the event going down here there are fewer hotel rooms at more expensive rates for them when they feel like gracing us with their presence. And really, the highlight of every trip to my watering hole comes whenever I get to hang out with someone from NCCO so that I can be given a lesson on class and manners. Legislators from upstate, telling us what we deserve, and we're better off for it. Lets hit the golf course now, though if I'm allowed to come, I'll make sure to keep the pumpkin innards here in Sussex. KA-BOOM!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Death Penalty DuJour

So sometime in the next 30 hours or so from this posting Brian Steckel will be executed by the state. There's enough reasons why the death penalty should be put away in Delaware, and in no way does that suggest Steckel deserves to live a moment of life again as a free man. But I wonder how many executions would still occur in this otherwise fine state if the same 12 jurors who recommended death and the judge who imposed the sentence were required by law to be the ones who pressed the button that started the robot that administered the series of lethal shots? I wonder if the number of prisoners on death row would decline, and by how many.

Aren't the Greek Funny?

And aren't the rich rich?

Paris Hilton's boyfriend Stavros Niarchos III played a cruel joke on a homeless man, Page Six of the New York Post reports. The Greek shipping heir and his entourage had left L.A.'s Element club the other night, when they stopped for a bite at Burger King. "Stavros offered a homeless man outside $100 to dump a soda on himself," a spy told Us Weekly. The desperate man took the money "and everyone laughed," reports the source.

I knew a guy from greece... fell asleep behind the wheel of his car, killing a friend of mine. The above story is just gross. Not even funny.